Kawał na dziś

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress is cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.

`Are you the owner?` she asks, now softly stroking his face with both hands.

`No` he replies, `I`m just the manager.`

`Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,` she asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.

`I`m afraid I can`t,` breathes the manager clearly aroused. `He`s in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?`

`Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message.`

She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

`Tell him` she says `that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.`

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Kawał z dnia 2024-04-16

Two guys are watching a dog lick its balls and one says "Man, I wish I could do that." The other guy says, "Really? I think I`d just pet him first."

Kawał z dnia 2024-04-15

This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.

The guy asks, `What are you carrying?`

`Melons,` the blonde replies.

`Cool,` the guy says. `If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?`

The blonde giggles and says, `If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.`

Kawał z dnia 2024-04-14

It`s the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby`s a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. At the front door Peggy Sue`s father answers and invites him in.

`Peggy Sue`s not ready yet, so why don`t you have a seat?` he says.

`That`s cool.` says Bobby.

Peggy Sue`s father asks Bobby what they are planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue`s father responds, `Why don`t you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.`

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and he says, `Whaaaat?`

`Yeah,` says Peggy Sue`s father, `Peggy Sue really likes to screw; she`ll screw all night if we let her!`

Bobby`s eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear as he mentally revises the night`s plans. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that she`s ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door while Dad is saying, `Have a good evening, kids!`

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her father: `Dammit, Daddy! The twist! It`s called the twist!!`