Kawał na dziś

Q: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: That`s `womyn` with a Y, and it`s not funny!

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Kawał z dnia 2024-04-22

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, `Do you think there`s baseball in heaven?`

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, `I dunno. But let`s make a deal: if I die first, I`ll come back and tell you if there`s baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.`

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, `Sol... Sol...`

Sol responds, `Abe! Is that you?`

`Yes it is, Sol,` whispers Abe`s ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, `So, is there baseball in heaven?`

`Well,` says Abe, `I`ve got good news and bad news.`

`Gimme the good news first,` says Sol.

Abe says, `Well... there is baseball in heaven.`

Sol says, `That`s great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?`

Abe sighs and whispers, `You`re pitching on Friday.`

Kawał z dnia 2024-04-21

How many blonde jokes are there?

None, they`re all true!

Kawał z dnia 2024-04-20

In a murder trial, thedefense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:

Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you check for breathing?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren`t sure the man was dead, were you?

Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man`s brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it`s possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.