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A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, `I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?` The blonde said, `I want 15 gallons of milk. I`m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath`.

The milkman asked, `Do you want it pasteurized?`

The blonde said, `No, just up to my boobs.`


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Kawał z dnia 2021-06-16

What`s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

One less drunk.



Kawał z dnia 2021-06-15

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks,

`Do you know her?`

`Yes,` sighs the husband, `She`s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn`t been sober since.`

`My God!` says the wife, `Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?`



Kawał z dnia 2021-06-14

Mrs. Bacciagalupe comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. Anthony lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, Momma can`t help but notice how pretty Anthony`s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of the relationship between the two, and this made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than meets the eye.

Reading his Mom`s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, `I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mama, Maria and I are just roommates.`

About a week later, Maria comes to Anthony saying, `Ever since your mother came to dinner, I`ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don`t suppose she took it, do you?`

`Well, I doubt it, but I`ll e-mail her, just to be sure.` So he sends his Mom an email:

`Dear Momma, I`m not saying that you took the sugar bowl from my house, and I`m not saying that you didn`t take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Anthony`

Several days later, Anthony receives an email response from his Momma.

`Figlio mio, I`m not saying that you `do` sleep with Maria, and I`m not saying that you `do not` sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.`