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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, if they`re small enough.

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Kawał z dnia 2017-11-17

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing `Love` stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he`s doing.

`I`m sending out 1,000 Valentine`s Day cards signed, `Guess who?`

`But why?` asks the man.

`I`m a divorce lawyer.`

Kawał z dnia 2017-11-16

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, `Can I help you?`

`Yeah, I`ve come to activate your phone lines.`

Kawał z dnia 2017-11-15

What`s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One`s a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.