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What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

Pregnant.


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Kawał z dnia 2024-03-27

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company.

It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same.

`Do you notice anything unusual about me?` he asked the first candidate.

`Yes. You have no ears.`

He quickly eliminated the first candidate.

`Do you notice anything unusual about me?` he asked the second candidate.

`Yes. You have no ears.`

He quickly eliminated the second candidate.

`Do you notice anything unusual about me?` he asked the third candidate.

`Yes. You`re wearing contacts.`

Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, `That`s correct. How did you know?`

`You can`t wear glasses if you don`t have any freakin` ears.`



Kawał z dnia 2024-03-26

Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was the best.

`My dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hands.`

`My dad is so good that he can shoot a gun, run after the bullet, get in front of it and catch it in his bare hands.`

`I`ve got you both beat. My dad`s so good because he works for the city. He gets off work at 5:00 and is home by 4:30.`



Kawał z dnia 2024-03-25

Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side... er, no... to go shopping... no, not that either... damn it!