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Q: What do you do to an elephant with three balls?A: Walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros!

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Kawał z dnia 2018-09-25

A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He tells her, `No. These are for boys.`The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy`s bike and says, `Oh yeah? Well, only boys can get these!`But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, `Look, only boys have these and your mom can`t buy you one!`The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, pointsto her bits, and proclaims, `My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want.`

Kawał z dnia 2018-09-24

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order. 2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn`t ask the price for. 3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands. 4. Go to McDonald`s and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight. 5. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels. 6. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you`re in. 7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on. 8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup. 9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box. 10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on. 11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, `May I take your order?` 12. When asked if they can take your order say, `Why, can I take yours?` 13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you. 14. Pretend your car has broken down. Ask for assistance moving it. When they come out, drive away. 15. Tell them you have to use the bathroom. 16. Order a cup of water and two napkins. That`s it. 17. Don`t order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene. 18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it. 19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don`t break your stare. 20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.

Kawał z dnia 2018-09-23

A guy came home one day after getting fired from work. He was so depressed that he decided to end it all and kill himself.He went to the medicine cabinet, pulled out a bottle and began to swallow a handful of Prozac pills he found there. After the first few he felt a lot better.