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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, `OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.`

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Kawał z dnia 2018-07-19

A little boy says: Daddy, how was I born? DAD says: Ah, my son. I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed popup appeared and said: You`ve Got Male!

Kawał z dnia 2018-07-18

A priest and an Australian shepherd met each other in the final of a quiz show. After answering all the normal questions, they were neck-and-neck with the same number of points and the quizmaster had to set a deciding question. The question was to compose a rhyme in 5 minutes including the word `Timbuktu`. After 5 minutes, the priest presented his poem: I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the Bible through and through, Anon my way to Timbuktu. The audience was thrilled and celebrated the churchman as the certain winner. However, the Australian shepherd stepped forward and recited: When Tim and I to Brisbane went, We met three ladies cheap to rent, They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim booked two.

Kawał z dnia 2018-07-17

Two good lawyer friends are having a nice stroll through a wooded area. They don`t walk more than a hundred feet before they spot a vicious grizzly bear hungry for blood. The first lawyer quickly pops open his briefcase and puts on his running shoes. His buddy looks at him and says: - You are nuts buddy that bear will catch you in a second! His buddy looks back at him and says: - I don`t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!