Kawał na dzi¶
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft`s electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter`s position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said `WHERE AM I?` in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said `YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.`
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
`I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.`
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Kawał z dnia 2020-01-17
A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He tells her, `No. These are for boys.`
The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy`s bike and says, `Oh yeah? Well, only boys can get these!`
But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, `Look, only boys have these and your mom can`t buy you one!`
The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, pointsto her bits, and proclaims, `My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want.`
Kawał z dnia 2020-01-16
A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that where was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser`s balls. So he signed up and came back six weeks later. When he got his meal, there were two teeny, teeny balls on his plate. He called the waiter over to complain.
`I`ve waited six weeks for bull balls. What are these?`
`Sir,` the waiter said, `the bull doesn`t always lose.`
Kawał z dnia 2020-01-15
A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.