Kawał na dziś

A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wifegot a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice girl he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.His wife moved on up to him and being a rather seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little romp.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked whatkind of a time he had.

He said, `Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you`re not there.`

Then she asked, `Did you dance much?`

He replied, `I`ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I`ll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!`

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Kawał z dnia 2024-04-17

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment. She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress is cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.

`Are you the owner?` she asks, now softly stroking his face with both hands.

`No` he replies, `I`m just the manager.`

`Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,` she asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.

`I`m afraid I can`t,` breathes the manager clearly aroused. `He`s in the back doing taxes right now. Is there anything I can do?`

`Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message.`

She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

`Tell him` she says `that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.`

Kawał z dnia 2024-04-16

Two guys are watching a dog lick its balls and one says "Man, I wish I could do that." The other guy says, "Really? I think I`d just pet him first."

Kawał z dnia 2024-04-15

This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.

The guy asks, `What are you carrying?`

`Melons,` the blonde replies.

`Cool,` the guy says. `If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?`

The blonde giggles and says, `If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.`